This has been a question I’ve been getting a lot lately. After my last posts (which I did erase) I explained it on one of my live videos on IG why.
I know that many of my readers feel identified with this because they are currently going through the same thing and think they will never be ok, or things will never get better. And that hole in your stomach and throat will never go away. But I have some amazing news for you, even if you don’t believe me… IT WILL GO AWAY!
We’ve all been there. Reading quotes, listening to friends telling us it will be ok and we just don’t believe it. We just focus on what we are feeling at the moment and we think it will never go away, that we will never be happy again and there, exactly there is where you start holding on to memories.
When we are with someone for a long or even a short period of time, it is because they make us happy, complete! That feeling is one of the best feelings we can ever experience. And because of that, it is so hard to move on and so easy to hold on to something that does not exist anymore. Our brain is completely disconnected from out heart and we stop thinking logically.
We just think about how to get that happiness back, and convince ourselves that the only way is to go back to the person that made US feel that. But there’s the trick. We are no longer holding on to the person, we are holding on to how they made us feel at a certain moment. It makes a big difference once you understand, right?
Why is it hard to let go. Because at that moment, we are not thinking straight. We are filled with fear of how we would live alone and what if we don’t find that happiness again and we start fighting with all our strength to get that back. And yes, most of the times we get to a point that while we are doing this we completely forget to respect ourselves, to love ourselves, and we don’t understand that we cannot ask for love. Because one thing is to fight for love and a very different thing is to fight for someone to love us. That is not correct and not fair with ourselves.
We’ve all read the quote that says “Sometimes holding on hurts more than letting go” and that is one of the most accurate things I have ever heard and I now, understand what it means exactly. Holding on to something hurts SO much that sometimes it becomes unbearable. It can even make us physically or mentally sick! Because it causes stress, anxiety and so much other things that are dangerous to our bodies.
It hurts so much to let go of a person that once made us happy because of FEAR or not finding the same. But you know what? You will find the same and no no.. Not the same, something better! Someone that not even in their wildest dreams would they do anything to loose you. Someone that cannot stop loving you for a second. Someone that loves you the way you do.
How to move on? By living one day at a time. By making plans in our future. By doing small things that makes us happy. Drink a tea, take a nice bath, go out and dance. Whatever makes you happy! Every little thing you do to take care of yourself counts. And day by day the hole and pain in your gut will disappear until one day, it is gone.
And you are back, you are ok. And you are ready for your next chapter in life with more strength, lessons and love to give. You’ll see……..
Life only gives us what we can handle. . . . . .
Just a little reflection I wanted to share <3